Caught by maintenance! Wake n Bake + Huge Load
Title: “Caught by Maintenance: Wake and Bake Edition”
*Disclaimer: This article contains adult themes and is intended for mature audiences only. The following is a work of fictional erotica and does not portray or advocate for any illegal activities.*
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The crisp morning air filled his lungs as he stepped outside for his daily ritual. Sleek, muscular form clad only in boxers and flip-flops, Tommy made his way to the balcony of his high-rise apartment. One hand freed up from clutching his phone, the other gripped a rolled blunt tucked expertly between slender fingers.
Tommy flowed through his morning routine like a well-rehearsed dance. Open the sliding glass door, draw back the flimsy plastic louvers, and step out onto the weathered concrete. Kick off his flip-flops and hop up to perch on the flimsy railing, margarita glass balanced on the ledge. The city lights twinkled far below.
Biting the end of the blunt, Tommy speakers panted as he took a slow drag of the pungent smoke into his lungs. Marijuana hazed his brain but failed to mask the churning anxiety in his gut. 21-year-old Latino nerd Tommy’s life was at a crossroad.
He exhaled a plume of smoke, letting it dance across his chiseled features in the crisp morning air, mentally debating his options. One path led to a safe but boring 9-5 office job. The other path beckoned with the enticing promise of his wildest dreams… and mommy issues.
Another hit of smoke calmed his racing thoughts. Tommy shook his head and chuckled mirthlessly. Worrying never changed a damn thing. Hesmarty deftly snapped off the rest of the blunt and flicked it onto the roof below. At least that’s where he aimed, but his morning blindness proved a poor judge of distance.
The blunt clattered loudly against the roof, scaring a crow that took off in a flurry of beating wings and loud caws. Startled, Tommy nearly lost his balance on the precarious perch. He steadied himself and cursed under his breath-Motherfucker! Freakin’ pigeon nearly gave me a heart attack!
Eager to avoid another such Incident, Tommy hastily hopped down off the railing and hurried back inside his apartment, leaving the louvers open to finish air ou Cuba. As he turned to close the sliding glass door, he froze.
A short, pudgy man with a serious case of resting bitch face glared at Tommy from the balcony next door, eyes shooting daggers. He was the maintenance man for this complex, and the very picture of an angry geriatric grandfather. His name was Rick, or was it Rich? Tommy could never remember.
“I know I should’ve used the wastebasket, guys,” Tommy said with a forced grin, aiming his apology at both Rick and imaginary friends. “Won’t happen again.”
The old man scowled deeply, managing to look both pissed and constipated. Rick seemed to be debating the merits of chewing Tommy out versus ignoring his blunder. The latter won, apparently, as Rick scoffed and shuffled past Tommy, muttering.
“Fucking stoners…” he grumbled as he brushed past, heading to the roof to pick up Tommy’s roach clippings.
“Hey, thanks man!” Tommy called out cheerfully, putting a tad too much emphasis on the “man.” Rick simply shook his head and kept walking.
Chastising himself for nearly getting caught smoking weed on a workday morning…again, Tommy quickly closed the balcony door and hid his electric nug grinder in the cabinet under the sink.
A sudden, insistent knocking at the front door startled him. Who the hell could that be at this ungodly hour? It was still early morning, 7am at the latest! Tommy cautiously approached the door, hyper aware of his near down state of undress.
Peeking through the peephole revealed an ocean of black hair and the top of someones head. Rick or Rich-whichever name fit-appeared to be glowering at the door, banging with a fist that threatened to break through any second. Real helpful, considering Tommy and his roommates were behind on rent.
Tommy knew he needed to do something, quickly, if he wanted to avoid a confrontation. Adrenaline flooded his system; his mind raced with options. He couldn’t let the security guard in wearing nothing but his boxers!
*Fuck me sideways, I’m about to be caught with my pants down again!*
Tommy’s heart pounded as options flashed through his mind, each one more harebrained than the last. One choice rose to the surface, desperate as it was.
Tommy took a deep breath and let it out slowly, trying to calm his nerves. Then, moving away from the door, he crept toward the back of the apartment, trying to muffle his movements.
Rounding the corner, Tommy quietly closed the bathroom door behind him. He moved quickly to the window, fumbling with the lock. The small frame only opened outward and upward, but there was just enough room for a slim physique to squeeze through.
Using his superior agility, honed from years of street hoops, Tommy carefully pressed himself flat against the wall next to the window. Grasping the window frame with one hand, he used the other to shimmy forward. He slid outside, squeezing through the tight opening.
Fighting gravity and Balancing precariously on the Fire escape landing outside his bathroom window, Tommy held his breath, hoping the old maintenance man hadn’t heard him clamber awkwardly out. He glanced downward tentatively, immediately regretting the risky decision. The drop from the second floor was a hefty fifteen feet downward.
*Shit shit shit, this was the worst idea you’ve ever had, Jackass.* He thought urgently. *Irwin can’t be trusted to come save you from this…could he?*
Meanwhile, inside the apartment:
An exasperated Mr. Contrarian hammered on the door with a wrench. “I know someone’s in there!” His stressful voice rang out, projecting across the parking lot. “Open up, NOW! This ain’t cotdamn Disneyland, punks!”
The constant pounding and shouting faded into the distance as Tommy scurried across the unstable metal grating of the fire escape. He had to get to safety, fast!
A bright flash of insight arrived too late to compute the consequences, too late to second-guess ludicrous impulses. Looks like you’ll find out soon enough if you truly are…
