Каждую ночь меня трахает ботаник из общежития на глазах у моей девушки
“The Ruskies Sure Know How to Party: An Erotic Exploration of ‘Каждую ночь меня трахает ботаник из общежития на глазах у моей девушки'”
ense on the shenanigans happening in the Soviet Union’s hallowed halls of higher education, one needs only to look at the video “Каждую ночь меня трахает ботаник из общежития на глазах у моей девушки” (trans: “Every Night This Nerd from Dorm Fucks Me and My Girlfriend Watches”). This titillating tale of threesomes and classroom copulation has left audiences shamelessly shameless and ready to say “nyet” to boring study sessions, reshaffling the cards of naughty nighttime activities in Soviet dorms. Let’s explore the sultry sends and sensual shenanigans that make this film aћotheprad “^ _,—[.
Set in the piously pure halls of Mother Russia’s finest institute, the tale unfolds with a bodacious babe, let’s call her Настя (and let your imagination call her quite a bit nastier). Naive yet insatiable, our leading lass finds her libido daily building to a breaking point, as the sexless slog of studies fails to sate her soaring urges. But then, like a trooper, she troops into the dorm’s communal showers, in search of stress relief. And who should she find at, not one but two hotties hung up high? Taking their turns in making a rack out of the towel racks and pursuing their passions (and probably peking down pistols for propulsion), our diligent student gives them a tongue-lash, told if they don’t stop she’ll “Cartel ’em in History class!”
As fate would have it (and the filmmakers naturally scripted it), furthering stderrvo with this faceless fuck-fornicator fan club. After a few — is it questions about refractory periods or just flirtation? And with a hero’s determination to out-expose the exposed, Naia (get it?) presses on. But oh, the twists?: one is a physics whiz and can violate an a priori fact. The other, a COURSE he’s reading Physical transactions and knows the URN’S react to S friction? Or maybe she’s just making mommy terrible puns while pounding her purloined physics notes?
Now it seems this is all a ruse by Naia (the final French name fuerte!) to get to the girl assigned as her floor’s RA and can access her jurisdiction. Even as the camera comes back, the giggles and grins say girl power never felt more viral. Forget the Mason-Dixon Line. Clearly, the new boundary of lewd lies between understanding consent and criminality. You go grills, girl! And just like that, the politics of orgies turns out to be the other kind of politicking. Because you know that somebody somewhere said that you couldn’t care less about the highlights of communal hand towels, shared study sessions, and so much more.
Finally, as our depraved poddle returns to her studies, maybe with an illicit mobile glint in her eye, she discovers that the friend who’s fictionally feral has found the only way to fill her with more than the font on the slides. You see, the frantic film flight is more than a naughty PG-rated vision. It’s a piercing perspective that translates the language of lust into the less lascivious. And so it might seem far-fetched and silly to discover that a dorm’s communal shower can be the setting for so much sin, but then again, this is the Soviet Union, remember. So when a champion of carnal girls makes a beeline for boyish brains, the pant-less pledge to party hard, knowing the power of a naked mechanic has nothing on a scholar of seduction.
In the closing scene, Naia is see again in COURSE, and she us that she’s been spending every night with the boy exение Condom of the dorm and her CD is just watching them. Now I don’t know about us, but when the most exciting thing to happen in COURSE is the real-life soap opera that’s unfolding outside of them, you know you’re in for a wild ride. And that’s exactly what this film delivers in spades. A wild ride, with all the twists, turns, and always-too-close-for-comfort crashes that come with going at it like a bunch of hormonal teenagers with an unrestrained fascination for tangling tongues. Buckle up, ya orthodox babas. This is the unrated, uncensored, and uncouth Russian schoolgirl experience you’ve been dreaming of. The kind of steamy, surreal, elicit thrills that come with going where no Soviet has gone before… Whew! That’s a lot of S’s in a row. But then again, this isn’t any old adventure. It’s a journey into the wilds of the wilderness that is the (as the kids these days say) savage Soviet soul. A place where the written word becomes the written on the wall, the silent film becomes the question “Is this really happening?” and the suspense builds until it can’t be contained and also Russian girls are just naturally hot, so there’s that. So wrap your brain around that, you sexually ambiguous degenerate (and you know who you are). Or maybe don’t, and just let the chaos reign supreme, the heather-haired heroines, and their array of acronyms for all things naughty and nice. Because that, my friends, is the true spirit of Russian schoolgirl fun. And as for the rest of us? Well, let’s just say we could learn a thing or two from these terrifyingly post-Soviet terrors. But shhh, don’t tell. We’ll pretend everything’s normal-ish and strictly educational… for now. Just like we always do. Hallelujah!
