While Bitcoin Goes Down The Dick Goes Up

Title: The Bitcoin Bull and the Rising Dick

In the pulsating heart of crypto-central town, our hapless hero Bit Boy had been riding the smoldering flames of a red-hot market for weeks on end. Bitcoin’s dizzying descent sent shockwaves through the community, leaving Bit Boy pants-tight and frantically grasping for any crumb of comfort. Little did he know, a hussy herself was earmarked to take Bit Boy by the balls and drive the little blue baton up, up, up.

Bit Boy, having just wrapped up another soul-crushing trading session, collapsed onto the couch in his lonely bachelor pad. Snatched up in the frenzy of the crypto cold war, Bit Boy hadn’t seen the light of day in weeks. His pasta had boiled to mush, the milk had curdled, yet Bitcoin was set to do the same. With ringing ears and frayed nerve endings, Bit Boy numbly reached for his phone when a mysterious notification sprawled across the screen:

“Hey Big Guy, a gal on Main St. thinks your crypto Dick needs a good, sloppy sucking. Come around to Buildin E at 8 pm.” Bit Boy, speechless, hopped to his feet and vomited out a wad of cash to hail a cab. By god, he thought, maybe, just maybe, his value is on the verge of a mind-blowing rally.

As Bit Boy arrived at the seedy apartment, he heard an ever-so-faint “Psst