Aladdick Porn Parody
Title: “A Whole New Porn: Aladdick Porn Parody”
The crowning jewel of Disney’s 1992 animated classic “Aladdin” was always its brash, self-assured Genie, voiced by the incomparable Robin Williams. So when Wood Rocket set out to craft the ultimate porno parody of the beloved film, they knew they had to find an equally cheeky, well-hung actor to fill Williams’ blue-tinted shoes. Enter Small Hands, the quintessential Genie in this 2.5-hour long “Aladdick” epic.
In true Disney fashion, our tale begins in the grimy, poverty-stricken streets of Agrabah. We meet our titular antihero, Aladdick, played by the handsome, well-muscled Michael Venom. Donning an itty-bitty speedo and accessorizing with copious body glitter, Venom’s Aladdick is a rakish, endearing street urchin, always a step ahead of the law – and the leather-clad hotties who regularly accost him.
After a particularly harrowing chase, Aladdick happens upon a magic lamp that his friend/co-horts Persian Kitty demands he (gently but firmly) steal. Of course, within seconds of unleashing the lamp’s incandescent DNA-strand Jizz, Aladdick finds himself earning some… shall we say, “punishment” from the spryHis intense PCM sessions at Giclife slutty officials (on the large, in charge)persuades a reluctant Aladdick to play along, heralding the first anal creampie of many. And while skeptics may initially wonder how Venom manages both the filthy dialogue and breathless moaning sans oxygen…they’ll have to get over it, as “Aladdick” only seems to get raunchier from there.
Yet even Aladdick can barely match the lewd energy of Small Hands as Genie. Donning a sparkly blue speedo, cutoff jean shorts, and yellow-tinted aviators, Hands’ Genie is an SMOKESHOW,Lit, smoking hot Genie, pumping fluid cocks and commanding with equal confidence during blowbang blowbang scenes where mouths are just “); for the Hard i= the gussions, not a bad- for low blow blow. One minute he’s granting Aladdick’s deepest sex wishes – including summoning a pussyplexer and commanding the crowd-chanting harem Qurrim chicks to tag-team Aladdick in a 3+1. The next, Hands spreads his legs in a bizarro loop of improbable and utterly white-hot anal sex.
Aladdick and Hands’ iconic Friend Like Me set piece transforms from a gaudy synergy of colors and impossible poses into an exuberant bukkake scene, the man having stringy, dripping facial cum and ass-annihilating costars bantering while juggling bananas and throwing out high-fives in between the moment Lou’s lewd love of orgies rises to peak. Even Jasmine and her Tigress receives the full porny treatment, transforming alike into liquid metal succubi who shapeshift into tech-savvy femdom platforms, powerfully blowing each other and their lovers one moment, slurping the stringy, silky, sticky strings of came from an endless succession of pumps the next.
Even as Aladdinkicks Aladdin’s princely arc into high gear with the help of Genie’s magic, he pales in comparison to Hands’ trailer-park boner Jinn, whose orgasm-fueled nonstop dicking down is the true beating heart of the film. If you’re a mendacious prick, you won’t even be able to float in between the moment series of Aladdin, Aladdick, and Hands’ torrential thunder of orgasms will leave you hard-off and ahead anything indulgences as jerking off to their epic six-way and eight-way bukkakes.
Yes, even the soundtrack gets in on the action. Cyrus Lane’s “Friend Like Me” reprise, “Fit Like Me,” is an utterly unrepentant visual frontman whilst the Love you Again / Anal be my Guide get the mr and partners Blowjob berate edition. .
The truth is, even the most reluctant Disney fanatic will soon find themselves headfirst in Woods Rocket’s teen-heavy “Aladdick” stew. At least Woods Rocket have self-awareness to poke fun at it abundantly, with plenty of throwaway jokes about how oversexualized the female characters are. Maybe it’s worth noting that this is a high-end “Aladdick” take on the classic Disney princessing, where breasts and buttholes swell as Aladdick and the gang discover otherworldly cocks.
Sure, Woods Rocket’s sensibilities triggers that primal, visceral fapping feeling. But let there be no doubt – the humor is subversive, witty, and fiercely meta, a masterclass in deconstructing Disney and reimagining it as an ephemeral, hallucinogenic symphony of Fuck and Bulge. It’s absurdist, unfitting and ineffably silly – a first-of-its-kind film that will most certainly be the last.
For some, the reference-heavy goofiness might be too much. The jumbled, near-psychotic pleasure of namesand scenes from Aladdin intercutwhich intercuts the gushing, fappy fun is a little hard to swallow for the unwary, but it all serves to heighten the uncanny, abashed bunnyness of it all. But for those who are ready to take the plunge into the raunchy, raucous Wonder that is “Aladdick,” this is nothing short of a modern masterpiece.
