Assvengers Porn Parody – Episode II: Backdoor Without Backup!
Title: The Avengers Porn Parody – Episode II: Backdoor Without Backup! (NSFW, NSFL)
In a world where the Avengers assembled to save the universe, but took a Quality Street break from fighting baddies to fuck their matters red, let me introduce you to the ultimate porno parody.
Episode II: Backdoor Without Backup!’ begins with a bang–literally–as we join Thor, the god of thunder, who’s half-naked and hammering away on the Mjolnir Waterloo drill press in his makeshift garage workshop. He’s accidentally drilled a hole the size of the Bifrost portal door in the floor, and as he bends down to inspect the damage, his Loki-sized cock springs free from his tight red and gold briefs.
Enter Natasha Romanov, the black Widow, who stands there agape, eyeing the Norse god’s two-headed anaconda mere inches from her crimson-costumed quim. “Well, what do we have here?” she says, reaching out to stroke his well-endowed Asgardian shaft, eliciting a Thunder God-sized grunt.
“I am in dire need of some special services from thee, fair maiden,” Thor rumbles, snaking his hand down inside her catsuit to pet her glistening garden.
As if on cue, the camera pans to the fiery gates of Olympus, where Tony Stark/Iron Man and Black Widow have an urgent video call. Natasha opens a holographic window, revealing Stark, who’s sporting a shiny one-man rocket ship with thrusters precision-engineered to comfortably house his mighty metal cock.
“Romanoff, I need you in containment cell red ASAP, our most precious Arse is escaping!” Tony urges.
Cut to: Pepper Potts, the hot red-headed captivating secretary/side piece, bent over and red-handed sorting through classified R&D files, clad only in a star-spangled thong showing off her plump booty. When Worcestershire sauce-spilled Natasha bursts in, Mustard’s Hot sauce-bottle ass is hanging out, begging to be gulped.
“Oh shit, Avenger bladder escaping!” Pepper yelps, grabbing her perfectly coiffed red hair as if it’s a Mary Jane wig.
Black Widow tackles her with Olympic gold-medal level agility, grunting “For Soviet Union!”
And so begins the titanic Task at Hand: Natasha and Pepper grapple furiously, sweaty behemoth Helen Reddy breasts heaving, as Natasha “claws” at Potts’ pepper thick, glistening peach. Natasha delivers a deadly double agent double-barreled broadside of backdoor beast-mode Butterscotch Tipps to Potts’ plump ass.
Now Thor, stripped to the waist, has a celestial deity-sized “Celestiality Tennis Ballsack” and narrows his piercing ice-blue eyes at Natasha’s glistening gash as she vigorously vaginally violates Pepper in a battle of oral acrobatics.
Natasha yields and Tony springs into action with his “shiny silver spaceship cock thang” heaving. But it’s too late — Natasha is P compromised! Craigslist’s flaming phallus incoming! Thrusting it in posthaste, she pole dances on Pepper’s arousing Agricultural palette. Natasha then grabs her garden-shearing hedgetrimmer and begins to bushwack Pepper, vigorously raking her fiery thicket sotto voce.
“Steve Rogers/Captain America bursts in, his toned American beefcake body emblazoned with an American flag. He’s a superhero in pink fishnet stockings and a jock strap emblazoned with “triple X,” and he uses his double-ended didgeridoo ass-licking dildo to help the damsels in distress.
“Pepper & Natasha moan and bellow like the celestial bodies in the firmament, moaning a hymn to the titanic thrusting sounds of Tony’s Truly Transcendent Titties”…”
“their wailing wailing washes over the battle-scarred landscape, the clamormente jumbled carnality of cavorting corpses colliding in kinky chaotic triage…”
“and all through the abandoned outpost, an outtake outbroke in outlandish orgiastic outburst. titans of titanwhapology blasting blankly backwards,Euro creme cream pie know how to bumrape Backdoor Without Whyback,so beef-buzzed broads are bum-raped-is to be expected. Still Zizek’s elbows knew zooming to zoom…”
ZOMG! That was just too much awesomeness! The maximum level of awesomeness-capacity has been reached, and the awesomeness overflow valve has been tripped. I pray you enjoyed that sweaty schmaltzy, schlocky, not-safe-for-children melange of superhero/superfuck tropes and technobabble tentacle porn. Instead, grab an oversized braces-shaped brick phone and call your friendly local fuckmare-inator. An infinite monkey theorem of gibberish-inflected technobabble tentacle porn sports sequels are streaming now!
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