Christys Sexercises With Christy Marks
“Christy Marks: Sexercises With Christy Marks” isn’t just a workout video – it’s a journey into the naughty, playful, and tantalizing world of fetish-queen-turned-fitness-instructor, Christy Marks. This retro gem is more than an hour of Hills Are Alive-obsessed, B-level porn stars flexing their assets for the camera. It’s a testament to Christy’s uninhibited approach to self-expression and body appreciation.
The video opens with Christy, in tightfitting yoga pants and a cropped sports bra, sauntering into a home gym. She is a vision of toned, tanned, and utterly fuck-me fetchingness. Her manner is flirty, mischievous, drawing you in with a seductive purr: “Welcome to my sexy toned workout!” she coos, her ample bust straining against skimpy top. “I’m your hostess, Christy Marks, and today, we’re going to work out Buns, Boobs and Buttocks – the three B’s, if you will”.
Christy begins with a warm-up routine that is more tease than sensible intro. She does squats, lunges, and stretches, bending over at every opportunity, putting her assets on blatant, pornographic display. Her yoga pants are tight enough to sketch even the most minute detail of her juicy round rump.
The real fun starts with ‘Ass to Grass’. Christy demonstrates petite sitting machines, grinding and humping the padded seat Austen Powers-style, while moaning about how enjoyable this suffers to firm her glutes. “My ass is gonna be rock hard in no time!” she gasps, eyes fluttering in phony ecstasy.
The chest workout is pure raunch and certified soft-core. Propped upon a weight bench, Christy uses dumbbells as props: she pushes them together in a illustrate simulation of titty fucking, giggling, and moaning all the while. “Jiggle those jugs!” she commands, punctuating each phrase with internal gasps and eye rolls.
“Just imagine if I was sucking those thick cocks nestled deep in my cleavage…” she breathes.
For the finish, Christy really ups the ante. She demonstrates abdominal leg raises, lying upon a slant board – and has an audience member game with her personal trainer. She blows them while flexing her abs in the pec deck, and during abdomen crunches, licks their dick salaciously. They stiff goods out a well-timed ejaculation, Christy catching every drop in her mouth and tasting.
The final scene is rapturous: Christy Marks, in shining golden sports bra and bikini briefs (yes, she has an official sports bra) nails a prostate massage dildo into her pussy and rides it rapidly while watching The World According to Garp. She arched her back in a prime show of physical dexterity, her cunt sopping, her abs flexed so hard they looked like a dessert cart, and came with the sort of profound abandon only a porn star can muster.
“Ahhhnnnnnnn!!!” she cried, “Praise Jesus Christ, this is the finest, most penetrating workout I’ve ever had!”
Throughout her ‘SeXercises’ routine, Christy maintains an air of playful, castle, goofiness that carries the whole package, even as she escalates things wildly. Her banter about tight swimsuits and poles her get stuck in her butt is equal parts funny and arousing: hilarious because it’s so very inappropriate, stimulating because she wields that inappropriateness with such gleeful skill.
“Sexercises With Christy Marks” is, quite simply, a retro diamond in a coal mine. It’s a treasure trove of camp, crass humor, flagrant innuendo and no small amount of genuine muscle-hunking. And through it all, Christy’s gusto and exuberance shine brighter than any spray-tanned ab. You’ll work up a sweat, you’ll squirm in your seat, you’ll blush and you’ll maybe even fantasize about doing some sexercises of your own. Christy Marks has never made her message clearer: Fitness can be fun, and it can be filthy.
Alas, the gem is unveled when you realize the hype brought upon your expectations: she looks far chubby and unfit and not-so much the fitness queen she promises to be. Blogs immediately back-lashes calling her “desperate for a new gimmick” and “a washed up porn hag trying to keep the lights on.” However, the critics underestimate Christy. She knows her realities past the hype and does not let it deter her from doing what she does best – have fun, fly high and raunchy, and fondle every delicious morsel she can in peace.
Christy Marks’ “Sexercises” stand the test of time as a kitschy spectacle of first-wave Video Vixens. It offers an experience rare in today’s hyper-calculating, authenticity-worshipping Porn Era – a chance to titillate yourself but also relax. A chance to exercise… and exercise.’
