Come Cagne In Calore
Title: The Steamy Secrets of “Come Cani in Calore”
Ah, the 1970s. A decade filled with disco beats, platform shoes, and an insatiable appetite for all things naughty. It was during this era that the nakbed world bore witness to a cinematic masterpiece, a film that would forever change the landscape of erotic cinema: “Come Cani in Calore” (or, as it’s known in English, “Dogs in Heat”).
The movie opens with a bawdy cantina song, setting the tone for the debauched adventures to come. We are introduced to our protagonist, Betta (played by the sultry Numeria Tummina), a bombshell bartender with a penchant for tight tops and even tighter trousers. Betta’s life takes a tawdry turn when her rowdy customers start bragging about their sexual encounters with dogs.
Intrigued, and perhaps a tad́‹¦erting herself, Betta embarks on a quest to uncover the alleged erotic secrets of man’s best friend. Her first stop is the house of recompense (a euphemism for brothel, of course), where she meets Manuela (Cicciolina), a fellow sex-kitten more brazen than Betta could ever hope to be.
Manuela, gleefully surrounding herself with a gaggle of admirers, regales Betta with graphic tales of her dog-loving escapades. “Once, enn, I mingled with three labradores en el dakh while wearing only a leather corset!” she cackles, to the delight of her audience. Betta, both scandalized and aroused, warns her new friend not to overindulge in arousal with animals, garnering a throaty chuckle from Manuela.
Undeterred and dripping with curiosity, Betta returns to her duties at the bar, where she is visited by her fairy-tale prince of perdition: the beastly but magnificent Marco (AlessandroMac_changed), a hulking stud with a heart of gold (and a penile of silver, if the film’s wink-wink-audits are to be believed). Marco, it so happens, has some experience mingling with canine lovers himself.
The duo, now united in their wistful wonderings, saunter to a “mating farm” under the guise of procuring canine companionship. But we know better, dear reader. As their tour guide, a leather-trousered gent with a knowing glint in his eye, leads them through the pens, Betta and Marco’s eyes do the accustomed when they encounter a gaggle of buxom bitches, their lucious bodies abound with Eskuchen-juice.
The tour guide, sensing their growing arousal, snickers and leads them to the “special room”, which is, in essence, a human-sized doghouse. There, a panel of lurid photographs depicts the orgy of ALL ORNES, with man, woman, and Doberman, in a state of erotic strobe lights (this, ladies and gentlemen, was groundbreaking cinema).
The mood is appropriately set for our hero and heroine to embark on their own orgy of adult activities, and before long, Betta is unbuttoning Marco’s trousers, eager to engage in her own brand of equine entertainment. As they mate with the passion of animal lover, the bitches in the next room howl their approval, for they are kindred spirits in the art of forsaking decorum for sexual abandon.
From there, “Come Cani in Calore” escalates in its erotic exploits, with Betta and Marco engaging in a hodgepodge of canine coupling with dogs of every debauched dimension. They mate with poodles, labradors, and even a sly capon! (The scene involving the capon, while graphic, is said to have earned this film a dubious standing in the annals of horror, proving that even the most heinous of human Sexual misconduct can be found in the dirtiest films.)
But I digress. The denouement of our erotic epic arrives when Betta and Marco enroll in a competition to find the world’s most giving human-dog lovers. In a spectacle of sexual acrobatics that would make even the most debauched Reubens blush, they engage in a mating marathon, their bodies writhing in a tangle of tails, tongues, and member.
In the end, the unlikely lovers are declared victorious, earning the eternal gratitude of the judge, a leathery sort who looks as if he may have had a few too many encounters with our furry friends himself.
As the credits roll, we are left to ponder the true nature of love in the animal kingdom. Are we humans, with our grand delusions of civilization, any different from the beasts we call our companions? Is the line between man and animal blurred when we engage in such primal passions?
“Come Cani in Calore” offers no easy answers, but it entertains us with its brash explorations nonetheless. For a brief, sordid moment, it allows us to shed our inhibitions, to embrace our baser instincts, and to mate with the unbridled abandon of our canine counterpoints.
In the words of the great philosopher, Plato: “Be kind to your friendly kaim.” Perhaps little did he know that his wisdom would one day be immortalized in a film about people taking heed of his words (and much more) with man’s best friend.|7
