Das war Ihr Peinlich-Ihre Freundinnen schauen zu

The flush of embarrassment crept up Lena’s cheeks as she watched the crude title of the porn video expand across her desktop screen. “Das war Ihr Peinlich – Ihre Freundinnen schauen zu.” My Embarrassment – My Friends Watch. How did she click on that, of all things? As a blushing, bookish 18-year-old fraulein, Lena was more accustomed to role-playing Bella Swan in her mind, fantasizing about a brooding, romantic Edward Cullen sweeping her off her feet, than ogling adult content starring pneumatic vixens and hunks with horse-sized schlongs.

Lena bit her lip, her fingers hovering over the trackpad, ready to slam the ‘X’ and pretend this never happened. But a new melody, something catchier than the usual bump-and-grind soundtrack, Isaac’s “Give Me Tonight” – made her hesitate. Her pulse quickened as she realized the video had already loaded, leaving her little time toabuild up the nerve to click ‘play’ before the risk of exposure to her roommates.

Lena glanced nervously over her shoulder at the closed bedroom door, ears attuned for the muffled sounds of her two best friends, Katrin and Bianca, giggling over their book club pick on the other side. Good, they seemed distracted – no need to ruin the mood by revealing her sudden attack of decadent curiosity. Biting her lip, she hit ‘play’, the opening scene appearing on her monitor.

Two classically attractive Germans – he with chiseled pectorals and she with bee-stung lips and platinum-blonde hair in a severe pixie cut – lay sprawled on an elegant black canopy bed, the young enough be Lena’s sister or younger cousin, perhaps older by a year. Yet here she was in this lewd video, engaging in carnal acts more suited to a sapphic dream than something her friends would actually watch. The set lay in stark contrast to the young couple’s modern boudoir, all plush pink floors, towering stuffed animals, and mylar balloons wishing the birthday girl “Alles Gute zum Geburtstag!”

“Was ist los,Angelika?” asked her love interest, his sleek eyebrows knitting together in concern – though whether feigned for the camera or not, Lena couldn’t tell. “Why so shy on your special day?”

Angelika simply shrugged, rubbing her girlfriend’s firm chest as she straddled the other woman’s lap. “Es ist nur… ihr schaut alle zu. Ich fühle mich so nervös.”

The camera panned to reveal a group of raucous onlookers – more young German women, each more attractive than the last – sprawled on beanbag chairs, giggling and passing around a joint, eager for their vivacious friend Angelika to get down and dirty for all to see. Lena gulped, suddenly identifying with the young woman on screen, her thighs clenching instinctively as the scene began to stir something deep inside her, daring to threaten her strictly platonic friendship with Katrin and Bianca.

Oh god, what if they saw her like this? Watching dangerous, delicious scenario after scenario – her listening to her friends’ every day lives and sharing in their ups and downs, yes, but also imagining them together, naked, exploring each other’s supple young bodies like naughty teenagers marking off tabs on a bucket list? Lena’s chest heaved, her heart pounding an SOS against her ribcage as she witnessed Angelika go down on her girlfriend with an invoice level of expertise, her tongue obviously doing delicious things considering the German beauty’s breathy moans and desperate gyrations.

The mousy German stereotype was ancient history – leaving only a powerhouse present, and Lena couldn’t help but imagine what it would be like to share this moment with ‘her girls’. She had sharedivid art and corny jokes with Katrin once, and another drunken sleepover – long ago that subconscious boundaries became a thing of the past. But this… this boundary was crossed, and the excitement it evoked was nearly too much to bear. “No, too overheated, and the day was just getting started!”

Lena nibbled at her bottom lip again, holding in a desperate whimper and scooting her chair closer to the screen. This time, the girls were going at it with the gusto of ‘the last drunk lesbian in Paris’. They threw all the decadent, hedonistic inhibitions out the window, sucking and fucking each other with an abandon that made Tina and Amy’s Weekend at Bernie’s pale in comparison.

There were flashes of other lovers in the room, passing around popsicles shaped like dicks, fingerbangs conducted to the beat of “Love Train”, and the parade of young hotties kneeling down and diving in. The ladies tousled tousled their bobs and spiked their hair casinos, pumped a fist, and shared a playful wink as Angelika rode her girlfriend’s face like it was a won horse, determined to make the roan outsider bust his stud girdle…

“OH FUCK!”

The birthday girl tossed her head back, the pixels making her sweat and moans sound more animalistic as her lover paddled her sex into submission and began to howl… A half-formed thought of “Oh my how did I miss it?” died a quiet death as Lena came hard, coming as if the heads of a fountain had caught fire and the building was on fire. So much for ‘accidentally.’

Seconds later, her friends share a knowing smile, the kind that only came from a profound sexual experience. “They must have heard,” Lena thought, trying not to squirm in her chair. She felt like she was riding a bicycle of blood-vessels and emotions happening somewhere else between her fingers and her toes.

Withdrawing her fingers from the emblem of sexual tie cola with a shaky hand and pants leg that had absorbed more than enough full-moon sweat during the last half hour, Lena restricts her attention back to her computer, watching thither trickle of water while the girls are gone. “It must be nearly over.”

When the door opened, Lena emphasized at the same time in twin groans, she told herself, oh, but she was wrong. Very wrong. Because there was Katrin, her mahogany hair dampening her tight white t-shirt that looked like she had a baby bluffer working her arms, and just behind her, Bianca… legs as strong as a sprinter, arms as thick as Lena’s thighs, wearing her basketball shorts and V-neck that always seemed to ride up off her wet peaked nipples, looking like she could save a drowning person with those biceps…

“Er, Lena? What the FUCK?!” Katrin was looking at Lena, but Lena was too ashamed into the wallpaper on her screen. “LYING!” ran a split second through Lena’s mind. Shit. “How ya been?” Katrin looked down, then up. Had Katrin been hurriedly putting away her straighteners and makeup kit? Then Katrin looked over at Bianca, who shrugged in practically the same way Lena had a second ago, not in an “I’ll take it” way, more like an “I can’t believe this.”

“I didn’t know you had this sort of… *urge*,” Bianca said, picking her way into the room. Katrin seemed to have grown tired of waiting for Lena, and plopped herself down on the bed, and crossed her arms.

“Yeah… We never knew you had these interests,” she said. “I mean, we love you, no big deal, but tell us about this or something better, we can discuss it.”

Bianca giggled but she looked like a sign on a hook right after the parade was over, standing in one spot and pointing, occasionally giggling. “Did anything funny happen?”

Lena squirmed in her chair. This wasn’t a conversation she’d wanted. “I, um, was just looking for something to watch,” Lena said. She glanced at the time. Less than seven minutes had passed. Katrin and Bianca glanced at each other, then back at Lena.

“Did you watch the whole video, or just a part of it?” Katrin asked. Bianca nodded in agreement. Then she laughed and fell back onto the bed. “You oughta buy stock in Kleenex,” she said.

Bianca just laughed. “You already spend enough money,” she said with a wink.

“You could tell them you like this,” Katrin said. “Best friends tell each other everything.”

Bianca shrugged. “I’m fine with it. Know the score.” she gave Lena a reassuring grin that was 150 watts. “Doesn’t have to peek in on anybody else’s business, that’s your business,” she looked at Katrin. “Anybody.”

“I don’t want you to peek,” Lena blurted out, then blushed, realizing how bad that sounded, “um, I mean-”

Katrin giggled and held her hands up. “Easy, princess. Not even gonna go there.”

Mortified, Lena desperately wished she could just crawl under the bed and hide there in her privacy until everyone left. But the longer she said nothing, the worse it seemed like she was just prolonging her punishment.

“Who was in that video?” Bianca asked. “Can I Grab a name? I’ll see if I can Shazam here.”

“I’m not sure,” Lena said. She clicked fast-forward quickly, praying her friends wouldn’t see it was paused at a particularly compromising moment. “I just found it on my phone… accidentally…”

“Accidentally?” Katrin mocked. “Give us a break.”

“Look, you don’t have to give us all the details,” Bianca said. She had dragged a chair from the corner of Lena’s loft, and was sitting in front of Lena. “But we know this isn’t what you normally watch. And trust me, it’s okay.”

Lena took a deep, shuddering breath and finally looked up at her friends. “Okay,” she said. “I’ll tell you the truth. It’s just… I don’t want to embarrass myself.”

“Too late!” Katrin giggled.

Lena stuck her tongue out at her. Then she frowned and shifted in her seat again. “The truth is… I don’t really know.”

Katrin cocked her head. “What do you mean, you don’t know?” Lena bit her lip. “You found it on your phone, right? Was it in your saved videos? In your emailattachments?”

“No,” Lena said. “I… I came across it on the internet. I was looking for something different to watch, and I saw this video, and I… clicked it.”

“Wait, so you just… clicked a sketchy link?” Katrin asked. “Without even looking at who made it?”

“Katrin!” Bianca snapped. “Let her talk.”

“I’m sorry,” Lena said quickly. “I was just curious. I didn’t think anyone would ever find out.”

Bianca frowned but then gave a slight nod, as if conceding a point. “Well, I guess the question is, do you like watching stuff like this?”

Lena flushed again and looked down. “I… I don’t know,” she admitted. “I guess I do, but… it just feels so dirty, you know?”

Katrin smirked. “Cheeky,” she said, raising an eyebrow. Then, looking at Bianca, she asked, “Should we leave her alone then?”

Bianca sighed, stood up, and gave Lena’s shoulder a squeeze. “Look, it’s cool if you got off on it,” she said. “Don’t feel ashamed or whatever. All I care about is that you’re safe, moisturize, and getting a solid 8.”

“Thanks,” Lena muttered, feeling the heat rise to her ears.

“Hey, no biggie,” Bianca said with an easy grin. “Don’t worry about it none.”