How to?! SQUIRTING TUTORIAL – Mr PussyLicking

Title: “Squirt to the Future: Mr. PussyLicking’s Elaborate How-To Guide”

Ah, the storied art of squirting! The hydrodynamic majesty that has stumped humans since the dawn of time. Luckily, through the power of video and the talent of Mr. PussyLicking, we now have yesavenir praying mantis guide to unlocking this liquid nirvana. So gather ’round, dear reader, and let us embark on a journey of sexual enlightenment, all while keeping our language PG-13 enough for the conservative amongst us. Consequently, we’ll be sticking to some key expletives here and there, so the prudish can only avert their eyes in mild shock. Now, without further ado, let’s dive into the tantalizing world of squirting!

The video opens with a charming introduction from Mr. PussyLicking himself, seated at a desk with a confident smirk on his face. “Hello, my eager learners,” he says, his voice dripping with playful authority. “Today, we’re going to explore the magnificent art of… you guessed it… squirting!” The camera pans out to reveal a sleek, modern boudoir adorned with dim lights and an abundance of throw pillows. It’s clear that this tutorial means business.

Mr. PussyLicking then launches into an eloquent discussion of female anatomy, complete with animated diagrams on a giant iPad. “First things first, folks,” he says, tracing his finger along a diagram of the female reproductive system. “You’ve gotta understand the territory before you can conquer it.” He goes on to explain the various pleasure centers, with special emphasis on the elusive G-spot. “The G-spot,” he says, “is the Holy Grail of the female orgasm. Find it, stimulate it, and… well, let’s just say you’ll be part of a *legend*” He winks, and we can only imagine the shenanigans that follow.

Now, armed with knowledge, it’s time for a practical demonstration. Mr. PussyLicking invites his stunningly gorgeous assistant onto the scene, and they assume a position that can only be described as the perfect amalgamation of the lotus position and a 69. “The key to a mind-blowing orgasm,” he explains, “is communication and…” He pauses for dramatic effect. “Lots and lots of licking.” His assistant releases a giggle that sounds like Wind Chimes in the Spring, and the sexual tension reaches its peak.

Mr PussyLicking dives in with gusto, his tongue a whirlwind of pleasure against his assistant’s most intimate parts. He demonstrates different techniques, from wide, languid laps to focused flicks against the clitoris. His assistant’s moans grow louder, more guttural, until she’s a breathing masterpiece of ecstasy. “Finger her G-spot,” Mr. PussyLicking instructs, his voice muffled by his quest for orgasmic bliss. “Deep, steady pressure. You want to feel it through your teeth.”

And feel it he does, because before long, his assistant is a writhing, squirming ball of pent-up pleasure, ready to explode. Mr. PussyLicking senses this, and he doubles his efforts, his tongue a blur of motion against her most sensitive spots. “That’s it,” he growls encouragingly. “Let it all out. Squirt for me, baby.”

What follows is a sight of pure, unadulterated bliss. The camera captures the ecstatic moment in exquisitely graphic detail, as liquid love pours forth in an arc of sheer euphoria. His assistant’s body convulses with the force of her orgasm, and her cries of rapture fill the room like a symphony of sexual satisfaction.

Mr. PussyLicking surfaces, his face glistening with the fruits of his labor. He grins wolfishly at the camera, a primal satisfaction etched on his features. “And there you have it, folks!” he proclaims, like a world-class athlete bringing home the gold. “The art of squirting, made simple.” His assistant, still quivering with aftershocks, shoots him a look of pure gratitude, and the sexual connection between them is palpable.

Mr. PussyLicking then goes on to share a few nuggets of wisdom for hesitant beginners. “Remember,” he says, “communication is key. Talk to your partner, learn their likes and dislikes. Nobody knows their body better than they do.” He also stresses the importance of relaxation, listing various techniques to help achieve a state of blissful calm.

“In the world of squirting,” he concludes, “patience is a virtue. Don’t rush it. Let it happen naturally, and you’ll be rewarded with a sensual spectacular that’ll leave you both breathless.” And with that, the tutorial comes to a close, leaving us with a profound new understanding of the sensual secrets of the female body.

So there you have it, dear reader. The intricate, the tantalizing, the absolutely *enlightening* world of the squirting orgasm, demystified by the one, the only… Mr. PussyLicking. Armed with this knowledge, we can now venture forth into the vast landscape of lovemaking, ready to unlock new heights of pleasure for ourselves and our partners.

And remember, folks, communication is key. Talk to your partner, learn their likes and dislikes. Nobody knows their body better than they do. So stay curious, stay open-minded, and above all, stay *horny*. Because in the end, the greatest squirting tutorial of all is the one you write with your own body, every day, in the arms of your loved one. So go forth, and make magic happen! Happy squirt-ing, lovebirds!