Livid Husband Upset Wife Didnt Tell Him She Used To Be A Lesbian – Dana Vespoli,Charlie Forde
Title: “Revealing Secrets: The Shocked Aussie Hubby’s Lesbian Revelation”
In the sun-drenched streets of Sydney, a seemingly idyllic marriage was about to be rocked by a bombshell revelation. John and Samantha were the picture-perfect couple – he, a hardworking IT consultant; she, a bubbly yoga instructor with an infectious smile. Their love story, a fairytale in the land Down Under.
Until one fateful evening when Samantha casually mentioned to John, “Oh, by the way, honey, I used to be a lesbian.” John, mid-bite into his Vegemite-slathered toast, nearly choked. He spluttered, spit flying, “You what now?”
Samantha giggled, unpacking groceries as if discussing the weather. “Engaged to a sheila for three years back in Uni. We were inseparable. Such a riot!”
John’s eyes bulged, his mind reeling. ‘Secrets and lies!’ He thought. ‘My wife’s a damn lezzie!’ His Aussie accent grew thicker as his anger mounted. “Three years? Thought you and me were each other’s first, pet! Now you tell me this?”
Samantha shrugged nonchalantly. “Never came up, mate. Ancient history, ay?”
John, incensed, slammed his fist on the table, making the packet of Tim Tams jump. “Three years is not bleedin’ ancient, Sam! What else ya keepin’ from me, eh?”
Samantha turned to face him, biting her lip. “Well…there was that one time in Thailand, with those backpackers… S’not a big deal!”
John’s face turned crimson, his grasp on the table tightening. “Thai backpackers? Bloody oath, you’ve been at it like a kangaroo in mating season! I thought I was yer first?”
Sam grabbed John’s shoulder, trying to placate him. “Oh, relax, John. It’s the 21st century, for chrissakes. Lesbian. Thai hookups. So what? We’re married now, love.”
John shrugged her off violently, standing up abruptly. “You didn’t think to mention it, did ya? Trust. That’s the problem here, Sam. Respect, eh!”
He began pacing around the flat, his voice rising with each step. “What if I told you, before you, I had a thing with Brijesh, our Indian delivery man? Fancy a good curry, would ya?”
Samantha rolled her eyes. “Oh, give over. You’re not even gonna tell me you were bloody hung like a wallaby, are ya?”
“Crikey!” John’s voice reached a piercing decibel as he tugged at his hair. “I’m the one with the bloody problem here? I’m trying to trust ya, but you’ve got secrets a mile long!”
Sam approached him cautiously, hands up in mock surrender. “Now hold on, love. I don’t recalllying to ya. Hell, you never asked if you were my first. Let’s just forget this ever happened, ay?”
John, whirling around, seized her arms. “Forget? I don’t bloody well think so! You’ve fooled around more than a joey playing leapfrog!”
Their voices echoed through the Sydney streets as passionate arguments often do. In the end, though, John and Samantha remained together, the anger fading into a funny, albeit incongruent, anecdote to their marriage. John even grew to enjoy the occasional spring in their love life, courtesy of his saucy sheila.
