PropertySex Real Estate Agent Sells Client Dirty Porno House

“A fucked up flick, a client is driven to dick, and real estate gets raunchy – welcome to ‘PropertySex’!” the opening voiceover announces with comedic bravado. In a world where euphemisms are the norm, this adult feature stands out as shockingly blunt.

The film opens in a bright, spacious realty office. Our protagonist, Lacy, played by a perky blonde porn starlet, sits behind her desk. Her tight blouse is unbuttoned just enough to provide a tantalizing peek at her ample bosom.

“Mr. Johnson will be here any minute,” Lacy says to her co-worker, her voice dripping with innuendo. “I’ve got to seal the deal on this property. The owner won’t budge on the price, but with my…persuasive techniques, I think I can get Mr. Johnson to come around.”

Her co-worker raises an eyebrow, but Lacy just winks and adjusts her cleavage. The door swings open and a nervous-looking man walks in – Mr. Johnson, the client. He’s middle-aged, a bit paunchy, and looks like he’s about to have an anxiety attack.

“Mr. Johnson!” Lacy greets him with a dazzling smile, sauntering over in her impossibly high heels. “I’m Lacy, your dedicated real estate agent. I’ve found the perfect property for you!”

She guides him to her desk, ‘accidentally’ brushing her hand against his crotch as she pushes him into the chair. Mr. Johnson gulps, his eyes darting to her exposed cleavage.

Pulling out a folder, Lacy spreads out a series of photographs. “This is the house – it’s utterly amazing. Four bedrooms, three baths, a pool, the works. But the best part…,” she leans in close, her breath hot on his ear, “it’s a little…naughty.”

Mr. Johnson blinks in confusion. “Naughty?”

Lacy licks her lips, a wicked glint in her eye. “Oh yes. The previous owners were quite…kinky. There are hidden features in nearly every room. I could give you a personal tour…”

She’s practically sitting in his lap now, her hand resting high on his thigh. Mr. Johnson squirms, but there’s a growing bulge in his pants that he can’t quite hide.

“I…I don’t know…” he stammers weakly.

Lacy chuckles, a throaty, seductive sound. “Come on, Mr. Johnson. Let me show you what you’ve been missing out on. I promise you won’t be disappointed.”

And with that, she stands, grabs her purse, and walks out the door, expecting him to follow. Mr. Johnson, pushed to the limit of his endurance, leaps up and races after her, his hard-on leading the way.

The next scene opens in the “naughty” house. It’s a beautiful, modern home, filled with expensive furniture and adventure gear. But as Lacy shows off each room, strange things start to happen.

In the bedroom, a dildo shoots out of the closet. In the living room, the TV comes to life and starts playing porn. In the kitchen, the fridge opens in slow motion to reveal a jar of lube and some rubbermaid gloves. It’s like Fred Flintstone’s house, but with sex toys instead of prehistoric appliances.

Mr. Johnson watches, wide-eyed and slack-jawed, as Lacy starts to strip off her clothes. She sashays around the house, writhing and moaning, her body glistening in the spotlight. He follows her, his chin dribbling with saliva.

Finally, they end up in the master bedroom. Lacy sprawls naked on the bed, her legs spread in invitation. “Come on, Mr. Johnson,” she coos. “I’ll make it worth your while. Just sign the papers and I’m all yours.”

Mr. Johnson needs no further encouragement. He scrambles out of his clothes and leaps onto the bed, his cock bouncing with excitement. Lacy giggles and pushes him onto his back.

“Feels good?” she asks, stroking his shaft.

“Oh fuck yes!” tears stream down Mr. Johnson’s face.

Lacy smiles and mounts him, lowering her wet cunt onto his throbbing dick. She rides him hard, her tits bouncing, slamming her hips down against his as she fucks him senseless.

“Take it, you fucking pig!” she shouts. “I’m gonna milk this cock dry. I’m gonna make you pay for this house!”

And with a primal scream, she comes, her pussy clenching around his shaft. Mr. Johnson lasts about two seconds longer before he explodes, firing shot after shot of hot cum deep into her gushing cunt.

As they lay there, spent and sweaty, Lacy reaches over to the bedside table, picking up a signed contract. “Looks like you’ve just purchased yourself a new home, Mr. Johnson. And a new favorite fucktoy, if that facial is any indication.”

The camera zooms in on the walnut-stained semen smeared across Mr. Johnson’s face, and the film ends, leaving the viewer to contemplate the erotic Wipeout of cool marketing. Have you gotten your PropertySex agent yet? Give her a call.