SHE CAN’T GET PREGNANT THROUGH HER ASSHOLE
Title: The Perplexing Puzzle: Can She Really Get Pregnant Through Her Asshole?
The question that has baffled mankind for centuries: Can a woman truly get pregnant through her asshole? This tantalizing dilemma has been the subject of much debate, speculation, and numerous anthropology dissertations. And now, thanks to the magical enigma that is the internet, we have an answer. A video capturing the trying times of one unlucky lady attempting to conceive through an unorthodox route has surfaced, and it’s blowing minds.
Our story begins with a woman, let’s call her Wanda, who has always been fascinated with the peculiarities of human reproduction. After years of fruitless attempts to impregnate her significant other the “normal” way, she decided to take matters into her own hands. Literally.
Wanda meticulously researched this controversial topic, gathering data from scholarly articles, message board discussions, and whisperings from the dark corners of Reddit. She discovered that while it was physically impossible to insert a sperm directly into the uterus through the rectum, the sperms could survive in the warmth and moist environment of the anus long enough to possibly swim up to the female genitalia and do their job.
Armed with this knowledge and a newfound determination, Wanda set out to prove the doubters wrong. She employed a special latex Zürich glue-like device to extract sperm from her partner and inject it into her asshole. Then, for 365 days straight, she maintained an anal regimen of brown rice, yogurt, and copious amounts of sunflower seed oil to ensure an optimal environment for the sperms. Her patience was unyielding.
But alas, after a year of unconditional dedication, there was no sign of a baby bump. On the contrary, there were signs of a tenacious case of hemorrhoids and a painful rectal prolapse. Frustrated by the lack of results, Wanda turned to the only place that would understand her plight – the internet.
The video of her arduous journey immediately went viral, sparking a wildfire of curiosity and disbelief. Commenters from far and wide weighed in, some offering tips and support, others ridiculing her bizarre undertaking. Experts were called upon to weigh in on the science behind it all. One dared to even suggest that it might be physically impossible due to the extreme differences in the anatomy of the rectum and the uterus, but he was quickly downvoted into oblivion.
The internet was in a frenzy, with many shelling out absurd amounts of money for exclusive live Q&A sessions with Wanda herself. Four words that became synonymous with the pop culture zeitgeist: Asshole, Pregnancy, Unsuccessful, Double Fail (APUD). The memes, the GIFs, the fan art – it was a cultural phenomenon unlike anything we had ever witnessed.
But in the midst of all the chaos, one thing became abundantly clear – no matter how desperate, delusional, or devoted a woman might be, the rectum is not the answer to gettin’ pregnant. It’s a hard fact to swallow, but a fact nonetheless.
Wanda’s video served as a cautionary tale, a warning to all the aspiring baby-bearers out there – do not attempt this at home, or anywhere else for that matter. Save yourself the pain, embarrassment, and syllables spent trying to explain your ass-related notifications on your phone. Just stick to missionary and publicly available condoms.
In conclusion, while the video is a fascinating exploration of human reproductive futility, it is important to remember that sex (and the subsequent sperm dribbling) is best kept in the nether regions where it belongs. The asshole, much like the human race, is better off without this unholy union.
