Tinder Date Rides my Dick while Parents are Gone

The camera pans over a cheesy-looking college dorm room, the kind you’d expect to find in a teenagers’ dream instead of reality. There’s a Guns N’ Roses poster tacked to the wall, a National Geographic map plastered with pushpins connecting Insgesamt, Austria, and various college campuses. Soft ’90s pop music plays in the background.

In the middle of the room, sitting on a beanbag chair, is a stereotypically “hot for teacher” college student. She’s got fake tits bursting out of a slutty v-neck sweater, bleached hair pulled back in an eternally-in-style scrunchie, and an expression that’s got “daddy’s little girl” written all over it. She chews gum casually as she waits for her Tinder date.

Finally, there’s a knock at the door and in walks the campus Casanova himself. He’s wearing an Argyle sweater that looks like it was knit by his grandma, Sperry’s, cargo shorts, and a shit-eating grin. The girl’s face lights up as he saunters in, his Tambrands Teen-Fur slapping against his thigh.

“Why hello there, sugar,” she purrs, standing up to greet him. She has to crane her neck to make eye contact, blinking up at him through fake lashes.

He leans in close, his scruffy chin scratching against her smooth cheek. “Ready for me to get in your cooch, baby?” he whispers.

She giggles and reaches down to grab his package. “Oh, I’m definitely ready for you,” she coos.

He leans back and undoes his belt, letting his shorts fall to the floor with a clatter. His dick springs up, slapping her in the face. She parks the gum in her mouth and gets to work, sucking his cock in a wet slurp.

“Mmm, you got a big fuckin’ pecker,” she mumbles around his cock.

He smiles and grabs a fistful of her bleach blonde hair, shoving her head down further. “Grind into that mutha fucka,” he demands.

She obliges, gagging and sputtering as he fucks her mouth. Her mascara smears black streaks down her face. Finally, he pulls out and she gasps for breath.

“Take off your pajamas,” he orders. “I wanna see them gotdamn titties.”

She slips the top over her head, the sweater straining against her fake tits. Her nipples are bright pink and perky as Roseanne’s boing boing hairdo. “Tada!” she says, giggling. ” mercenaries got these for m’ birthday.”

He grabs a handful of silicone and squeezes. “Mmph. They feel real.”

Next, she kicks off her bunny slippers, shimmies out of her leggings, and flops back on the bed in a pair of flowered Grandma fuck-me pajama shorts. “Come and get it, big boy,” she purrs.

He dives between her legs, hooking his fingers into the waistband and yanking the shorts down. “Shit…” he breathes, seeing her hairless, glistening pussy. “I’m gonna tongue death ya.”

He buries his face in her snatch, licking and slurping and sucking like it’s his last meal. She moans and bucks her hips, tugging on his hair. Finally, he surfaces, his beard shiny with her juices.

“Damn, you are some salty girl pie,” he chuckles.

She spreads her legs wider. “Shove that dick in me,” she pleads.

He doesn’t have to be told twice. He flips her over and smacks her big ass once, hard. “Unnh!” she yelps.

He spreads her cheeks and spits on her tight little pink rosebud. “You want me in there, too?” he asks hopefully.

She clenches her asshole. “Hell no, you dirty bird! Gimme that cock straight up my twat!” But there’s no conviction in her voice.

“Damn, baby, you are such a freak,” he laughs. He lines up his cock and slams into her pussy balls deep. “Unngh, yeah!” she cries out.

He starts pounding away, the taste of her still fresh on his tongue. Her wetness makes a slapping sound as he fucks her hard. He reaches around and tweaks her nipples as he rails her. “Take that fat shlong!” he yells.

She cums hard, her inner walls clenching around his dick. “Nngh, I’m cumming!” she squeals.

“That’s it, baby, milk that dick!” he growls. He pumps into her a few more times before pulling out and blasting her back with a hot load of jizz.

“Hoo-wee! That’s some potent spunk you got there,” she giggles, wiping it off her ass.

He flops down beside her on the bed, gasping for breath. “God damn, girl. You could teach a course in fucking,” he says.

She snorts and sits up, stretching. The sun is starting to peek through the blinds. “Shit, your mom and dad will be back soon!” she exclaims, grabbing for her clothes.

“Eh, they probably think we’re doing homework in here,” he says with a shrug.

She rolls her eyes and clicks her tongue in disapproval. “No, I’m not gonna disrespect your rents like that,” she says primly as she pulls on her sweater again. She gives him a pouty goodbye kiss and flounces out the door.

The camera lingers on his naked, sweaty body for a moment, before panning back to the room, which already looks like it’s never seen such depravity. Then the screen fades to black as the theme music from Family Ties swells softly.