Wake up blowjob. She likes morning wood
Who among us hasn’t fantasized about a busty, eager partner sauntering into our bedroom first thing in the morning, ready to service our morning wood? The thought alone is enough to make any red-blooded malemember twitch with anticipation.
But for this rancid piece of amateur pornography, the desire is beyond gratuitous. Titled “Wake up blowjob”, it follows a scantily-clad ingénue as she awakens her unsuspecting male roommate with the promise of oral delights.
The video starts up with a god-awful stock-standard melody – the kind your parents used to burn copies of on CD from the radio. The ambiance is so non-descriptive it’s almost a parody.
The first shot lands on a messy apartment room, replete with askew furniture and an unmade futon. The camera zooms out to reveal a female body stretched out in the center of the piece, gently snoring. She’s a cardboard cutout of a woman – exaggerated features and a fake tan.
The next few scenes are typical softcore fare, showing her crawling towards the camera now fully awake, morphing from dormouse to lioness with only minor makeup. Хиo breathy hum “Good morning~” scrapes like nails down a chalkboard.
Her male companion is equally unconvincing, donning a fake sleepy smile upon awakening. The lack of sincerity is palpable, the intentionality of it all distracting.
As she crawls ever closer, snaking around on hands and knees like a feline on the prowl, she reaches for his sheets with grabby hands. бизo crotch is at eye level now, his morning glory of a tent enticing her forward. “I see someone’s already up~” she breathes in a mocking cadence, pulling at the sheets to reveal what’s underneath.
The actual fellatio montage that follows is indistinguishable from any other stock amateur video of its kind. Same motions, same levels of enthusiasm, same angles. Cue POV shots of her bending over, lips wrapped around a glistening member not fully erect. Cue shitty camera angles to make his cock appear more imposing than it actually is.
The rhythmic lapping plays an aerial view over her bent back, her hair shaking – equally as fringed as her bikini line. His moans of ecstasy sound more like whimpers, the clenching of his teeth almost visible through the screen.
But goddamnit, the video insists on making this a blowjob of note. The “professional quality” background music and strategic angle-shots scream so desperately for attention. As if its girl-next-door appeal was not enough, could be commiserated with by many.
The big reveal of her opening her mouth wide, signaling an impending load, damns this project forever to the pits. Nothing kills a boner faster than precision ejaculation, and a shaky hand-crowned “capture the load” isn’t helping.
Will the morning still be naughty and nice following this serving of porno? Doubtful. This video is not woke, my friends. It has far from captured our hearts.
