Weirdest Thing You Masturbated To? 2015 AVN Red Carpet Interviews PornhubTV

Title: The Naughty Tales: What Fuels Our Frenzies?

Ah, the AVN Awards, the biggest night in adult entertainment. Glamour, glitz, gorgeous bodies, and some of the wildest confessions known to man. While some stars disclose their style secrets and share soapy stories, more brazen gentlemen and ladies reveal the kinky cornucopias that fuel their fantasies. And oh, those fantasies.

In the sultry shadows of 2015 AVN, we found ourselves prowling the red carpet, cameras in tow, ready to capture the most raunchy revelations. “Hey, it’s AVN, let’s talk masturbation!” our fearless interviewer bellowed, gathering some of the most notorious names in adult entertainment. And so commenced a ride through the ripest reams of raunchy repose, where the stars spilled their secrets in sordid detail.

“You’ll never guess what I’ve used to get off,” a vixen volunteered with a wink. “Try just about anything with a hole, honey. Vases, lamps, even a stuffed animal once in a jam.” Her saucy smile suggested that wasn’t the end of her acquisitions. Just imagine the colorful cast of characters that have aided this adventuress in her sola satisfaction sprees.

Another star shared his own compelling collection of objects of desire. “I’ve been known to befriend a number of unique companions over the years,” he noted with a slight smirk. “From an inflatable doll that looked better with each glass of champagne, to an array of toys that could make a toy store blush.” He tossed his head, his lush locks cascading as he chuckled. “Can’t judge, when the joke is on you, baby!”

As the night wore on, the titillating tales grew taller and twirlier, painting a vibrant picture of the varied ways we stroke our own fires when the need arises. And the fun just kept on coming. One of the women shared a tale of a particularly intense tryst fueled by nothing more than crumpled up sink paper. Her giggling interview partner noted that anything was game, as long as it got the juices flowing.

And that was the core take-away of the night: sometimes, a ravenous desire takes hold and demands satisfaction. For some, it’s a quick flick of the flick here or there, while for others, it’s an utterly audacious display of naughty naughtiness. Like the gal who swore by right-handed rubbing during her rallies, citing a “>’);
somehow, left-handed didn’t quite do it for her.

Several sizzling sexy sensations confessed their penchant for cum-craving cubes, not the fruit kind, mind you. Tiny toys that flattened their folds with each dive, catapulting them to ecstasy in record time. There were so many toys, it was dizzying. Jiggle wands, pocket rockets, discreet dildos that doubled as lipstick. All manner of marvels being yammered about as our interviewer worked the crowd.

But even with all the artificial aids, there were plenty of good, old-fashioned DIY sessions being celebrated, too. Techniques rendered more deft by years of practice and precision, honed to a point of acute sexual savvy. There were mentions of steady strokes and soft, feathery caresses. Swift, mercurial movements and slow, torturous ones, too. Every type was on proud display.

One sage soul even offered up her tried and true move, “the sprinkler.” Picture it: a lady vigorously deploying her good arm like a garden hose, working every inch with a single-minded determination. This was clearly a technique honed over years of solo satisfaction sessions. You had to admire that dedication to one’s craft.

All in all, it was a brazen celebration of the art of self-pleasure. The stars of the show sharing their own fabulous meshes of fantasy and fact, all in the interest of unsettling the status quo and redefining relaxation. It was clear that while the path to paradise might be varied and winding, just about everyone on the red carpet was on a quest for personal pleasure.

And who could argue with that? When the furias rise up and the fires in the loins begin to roar, the search for satisfaction is on. Whether it’s a quick brush with a trusty vibrator or an all-day affair with several gallons of water-based lubricant, the ping and pang of desire can’t be denied. It was a thrilling throwback to an era where none of the erotic elements were off the table.

Sure, some of the stories were more silly than sizzling, and a few notes were just plain out there. But the overall sentiment was clear: our sexual preferences are as varied as the stars themselves. Whether it’s a Persian rug rolled up as an impromptu pillow, or a stack of t-shirts folded just so, we are equipped to sate our own lusts and libidos in a myriad of ways, shapes and forms.

The AVN red carpet certainly provided an ample amount of “Oh, you really shouldn’t have!” moments, but it also delivered a key message: embrace your desires, indulge your fantasies, and never be afraid to just say “oh yes!” when the moment calls for it. We’re all only human, after all.

And in the end, we can’t say that the image of a burly, bearded fellow romping the night away in Las Vegas with nothing more than a jar full of petroleum jelly and a 6-inch robe sash will ever quite leave us. Truly, it was a night to remember. So the next time you feel the urge to indulge, don’t be afraid to find your own, personal oasis of oh-joy. Red carpets and robes can’t save you, but your own sense of satisfaction can. Enjoy!